So, it's 1 in the morning, and I'm still wired, so I thought, BLOG TIME!! I never thought I would seriously like this blog thing, but it kinda gives me something to do while I'm bored :)

There are a few things that have been on my mind lately. The main thing though, is how home really isn't the same when you go back. I have heard people say this to me my entire Freshman year, and the whole time I thought they were stupid, I thought "ha! Everything will be the exact same as when I left, it will only be 9 months later." Boy was I wrong!

I honestly almost cried the other day because I wanted home to be back to normal. I don't feel like I belong, or like I fit. It is very hard to explain, but I hated it! Nothing was right here anymore...but then, God helped me!

You see, I'm the type of person that hates change, so the slightest bit of change really bothers me, so when the one thing in my life that isn't supposed to change starts to change, it isn't ok with me! Home is supposed to be where the heart is, where I can go to make everything better. This was not the case when I came home this time. It was all different, I even found myself saying to everyone "I just want to go back to Lee, that is where I belong, I am wanted there!" This hurt a few people because they felt like I have replaced my Huntsville friends for my Lee friends, and this was not the case. I just didn't like the change.

Well, on with my story about how God helped me. I went to church Monday night for The Gathering (pretty much a prayer meeting for all you non Huntsville peeps) and I honestly didn't want to be there. I felt like no one wanted me there, like everyone thought that since I left for school, they wouldn't accept me back in. I know this was stupid of me to think , but I did.

At the beginning of it, I sat in the back, and I didn't even want to pray (Yes, I am aware that it is stupid to go to a prayer meeting and not want to pray, but that's how I was) and this is very weird for me. When has anyone known me to not want to pray? Yea, crazy, I know! I sat there, watching everyone else pray, and listening to them. I decided that since I was there and all, I could pray too.

I began to pray very quietly to myself, and while I was praying, I began to look around, and when I did that, everything felt ok. I felt a sense of peace, like there was a reason for me being there. Then the whole night was amazing. I was free to pray, and free to read scriptures in front of everyone, and even free to pray for everyone. It was great!

Afterwards, I went out to eat with some of the youth group (of course, I was the only girl as usual) and I was able to be myself, more then I ever have been at home before. I loved it. It made me realize, that yes, people change, and home will be different, but it is still home, and (I know this is cliche) home is where the heart is! :) I am going to enjoy every moment of my 2ish months left here, but I still can't wait to go back to Lee (I already miss those guys!!)